I dream about movies

I was having a conversation with topazlily yesterday, in the comments on her latest sporking. She mentioned that her next one would be a Fëanor-as-Tenth-Walker fic. *lets that sink in for a moment.* Yes. I know. But he'd managed to convince people that he was really reformed, and it was really Manwë's idea anyway to send him back. We suspect that the lack of oxygen on Taniquetil has gone to his head. Moving on...

In a feverous brainfart, I was thinking that, properly handled of course, it's not that bad an idea. In a way, "What if Fëanor really did get out of the Halls, and back to Middle-earth to boot?" It'd need a whole lot of work to make it convincing that he really wanted to go and all. And there's the whole Nine Walkers-thing to get around. And the Elves who hear he's coming back and go, "...Which way was Círdan living, again?" It could even be Evil!Fëanor, who's really in it to get his hands on the One Ring, so he can get the Silmarils back. The consequences of that would be huge.

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.


Story Or Series Title: A Bride for the Dark Lord
Fandom: American Pie, without the funny.
Culprit Author's Name: CorruptedBeauty666. Repeat offender.

Full Name (plus titles if any):Full Species(es): Mirror-Sue. She looks how you want her to look.
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given. So it’s blonde.
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given. So they’re blue.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None given. A plate in her head.
Special Possessions (if any): None given. She can’t have that sword.

Annoying Origin: Two Death Eater parents, named -----.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: BFF with Draco. Has the Dark Lord propose to her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Lord V can’t get into her mind, and that has him puzzled. Potty-mouthed.
Other Annoying Traits: Part of a pranking-ring at Slytherin. Snape does not approve. Pansy-bashing. Maintaining that she is not special, which usually means they are.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: ( Look who’s back. It’s the unfunny. )

Part One

Story Or Series Title: A Bride for the Dark Lord
Fandom: Still no Harry, only an Heir to the throne of Whining.
Culprit Author's Name: CorruptedBeauty666. Repeat offender.

Full Name (plus titles if any): ---. I shit you not. She is given no name. I’ll just call her the Bride.
Full Species(es): Mirror-Sue. She looks how you want her to look.
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given. So it’s blonde.
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given. So they’re blue.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None given. A plate in her head. A bunch of annoying OC-friends.
Special Possessions (if any): None given. She can’t have that sword.

Annoying Origin: Two Death Eater parents, named ---.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: BFF with Draco. Has the Dark Lord propose to her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Lord V can’t get into her mind, and that has him puzzled. Potty-mouth.
Other Annoying Traits: Part of a pranking-ring at Slytherin. Snape does not approve. Pansy-bashing. Maintaining that she is not special, which usually means they are.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: ( This is the show that never ends, my friends )

Crossposted to deleterius and _scourgify_

Story Or Series Title: A Deadly Girl
Fandom: Lord of the Ring Twins.
CulpritAuthor's Name: Aranel Lissesul

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shanesti
Full Species(es): Evilus Seductus Sueus.
Hair Color (include adjectives): 'Her silver-blue hair fell about her face, cascading down to her waist.'
Eye Color (include adjectives):'Her blue-green cat shaped eyes glinted evilly'
Unusual Markings/Colorations: My bootmarks on her fac. None.
Special Possessions (if any): My boot up her arse. Cold hands.

Annoying Origin: I'm aiming for the ruins of Mt Doom.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters:Wants to get into the pants of one.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can turn into mist. Makes Legolas distrust her on sight, and the rest like her.
Other Annoying Traits:Existing. Making the rest of the Fellowship hide in a plothole.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: ( Here the trouble begins. And it's only the summary )

What my fiancé said about this fic, when I showed it to him: "It's said that an infinite number of monkeys using an infinite number of typrewriters could produce the collected works of Shakespeare, given enough time. Frankly, one monkey with one typewriter is not going to cut it,... and it would write better than that." She's horrible, just horrible.

What really bugs me? She's obviously read the books. And she still writes this Valar-forsaken piece of claptrap.

Title: The story of a princess shield
Fandom: The box says Lord of the Rings. I call it false advertising.
CulpritAuthor: IceBend28
Full Name (plus titles if any): Nienna Telcontar.
Full Species(es): Human. Warrior!Timetravelling!Sue. I'm fearing 311 Walkers-fic.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, I'm assuming black.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not mentioned, I'm assuming grey.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not mentioned.
Special Possessions (if any): Ring of Barahir, Andúril, 300 Gondorian soldiers.

Annoying Origin: Claims kinship to Aragorn and Arwen.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: The aforementioned King and Queen of Gondor, who should have drowned her at birth.
Annoying Special Abilities: Elvish senses.
Other Annoying Traits: Mucks with canon, temporal and geographical distortions. Able to best her father in a duel. Random capitalisation. Random POV-changes. Bad emoetry.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: ( The hurting. The canon-twisting )

Crossposted to deleterius under my old LJ-name.

My brain, it hurts. Too much reading through fanfic on deleterius. Where's the brain bleach when you need it?