(no subject)

[bookish_dragon]

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.


Story Or Series Title: A Bride for the Dark Lord
Fandom: American Pie, without the funny.
Culprit Author's Name: CorruptedBeauty666. Repeat offender.

Full Name (plus titles if any):Full Species(es): Mirror-Sue. She looks how you want her to look.
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given. So it’s blonde.
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given. So they’re blue.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None given. A plate in her head.
Special Possessions (if any): None given. She can’t have that sword.

Annoying Origin: Two Death Eater parents, named -----.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: BFF with Draco. Has the Dark Lord propose to her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Lord V can’t get into her mind, and that has him puzzled. Potty-mouthed.
Other Annoying Traits: Part of a pranking-ring at Slytherin. Snape does not approve. Pansy-bashing. Maintaining that she is not special, which usually means they are.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: In previous chapters: [The Bride] is supposed to marry Lord Voldemort, whose shoes she is not worthy of tying up. She whines about this to BFF Draco, amongst others. She and her friends get on the train, have the Spat [TM] with the Golden Trio, and then get to the school. Also, they have a pranking-challenge. The theme is erotica, which leads yattara to believe the author is twelve.

We looked like hell.

All fires and fear and general chaos and destruction? Human, have you ever been to hell?

sitting there waiting for the stupid 1st years to get sorted. I swear it feels as if people are reproducing more children every year; Hogwarts was turning into a brat camp.

You have me puzzled. Surely young mortals act that way? And you are at school. New mortals have to come in.

Scar was reading again under the table while the others were zoned out or talking to other people that they hadn't seen over the summer. I covered my mouth to hide a yawn as the last kid went in to their house.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" Dumbledore said as he began his yearly speech on the rules and such.

Draco perked up, as did the others except Scarlet who went on reading, when he mentioned new teachers.

"And joining us this year are our previous students Fred and George Weasly, who will be teaching the new curriculum, Inventive Creativity, as they are experts in it, themselves."

There are no words. Really. Who is next? Molly on effective childcare?

I nudged Scar and told her to give them a welcome, as a small dare to get things started. Scar, who just perked up when she realized why they were here because Pansy evidently did not find why they were here at all because fortunately for us she didn't come back, leaned over and drawled out, "Hey boys, long time no see. It's about time that we got some shexy sic teachers on the scene."

I saw one of the twins smirk

as he put down Scar’s name as the lucky recipient of their latest gadget. It was still in the experimental stages, and they needed guinea-pigs, after Molly forbade them to use their siblings to this end.

but then Draco elbowed Pierce and whispered something into his ear that I didn't quite catch.
"Well at least we have McGonagall; in fact I don't think I can keep my passion quiet any longer, so will you, my dear, pledge your heart to me?" said Pierce. Scar whooped at the end of that. I looked over and saw McGonagall, who was blushing a bright pink color even though she looked appalled.

The woman has a self-control you could anchor a flying ship on. She would not blush at some silly schoolboy’s words.

"Thank you, Mr. Grant, for the endearments," said Dumbledore as he strived to steer the conversation back to where it had begun, "And Ms. Cobra, thank you for welcoming Mr. Weasly and Mr. Weasly, as I hope you all do the same but hopefully not in that fashion.

"Really, the pom-poms and the gerbils were a bit much."

But as you two seem excited for the new term why don't you, two be the first students for their classes? In fact I'll sign you up now, along with Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasly, and Mr. Potter."

Draco and I got up at the same time to stop that decision because those two did not need to be punished like that, to be stuck in the same room with the Golden Trio and the twins. But then Dumbledore looked our way and said, "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. [The Bride] for volunteering, you will be in the same class with them. And as I have picked all four of you why don't Mr. Celt and Ms. Zech, join you?"

Good is not Stupid, and quite vindictive too. Death has improved Dumbledore. I approve.

I had to say something before the decision got out of hand and so I began to speak, "Professor Dumbledore, I don't think this decision if fair to the students that actually wanted to be in the class. I don't think that the six of us personally even have any interest in this class. So don't you believe that conceivably that it would be in everyone's best interest if other students went in our place?" I asked in an attempt to restore the normal order of events that should be happening instead of this catastrophic occurrence.

Logic? Here? How did that happen?

Mini-snip. Dumbledore’s decision is final *applauds*, they go to their common rooms, and meet Hermione.

"Listen, I don't now what you were trying to pull of back there but if you do anything to Fred or George, Harry, Ron, and I will personally make sure you get what's coming to you. You six have done more damage then anyone else I know, but this year I'm won't settle for it, got it?" she said in a heated screech.

"I will be sitting down, and laughing when you finally get expelled."

I hated her I truly hated her, she was one of the most condescending girls I had ever met and so I looked at her like she was crazy and pulled out a breath-mint and said, "If you ever want to talk to me again, do something about the reek in you mouth, alright? I always thought that mudbloods brushed their teeth but obviously I was wrong. It's called a toothbrush so use it."

Once again I am stunned by the power of your insults.

I handed her a breath-mint and walked away but not without noticing the shocked expressions on everyone's faces, but Tasha and the rest of them looked proud. This wasn't me, I could be mean, yes, but I never brought up the stupid nicknames. The rest of them had no problem with it, or at least Draco and Tasha didn't, but it left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I also never said anything unless they spoke to me personally but with everything that had suddenly occurred with my family and the turn my life was taking the anger inside had just gotten the better of me.

You poor little flower, you. So overwhelmed. You need a break, do you not? Come here, I can provide it for you. This dagger? Do no pay attention to it. It is nothing you should concern yourself with.

"Wow, lurve I'm so proud of you!" Scar said as they caught up with me. I was a little surprised at that one. Scar never mentioned the nicknames either because she didn't believe it was right to judge someone based on who their parents dentists were but then I remembered that Scarlet hated Granger for how she acted as if her intelligence gave her the right to act as if she were better than everyone else.

True. She is annoying, but with a good heart. Not something that I have been able to detect in you, and trust me, I have experience in this matter.

I personally thought that a small part of her hated Granger for how smart she was as well, there had always been a competition between those two, now that I think about it, to see who was smarter.

Smartest Witch of her Year. Deal with it, or my partner might come after you. And she is really fond of Hermione.

"Yeah, I never thought you had it in you," chimed in Pierce.

"This just proves the age old saying 'don't ever underestimate a pureblood,'" Draco remarked.

"God, Granger is the most annoying bugger that I have ever met. I wish I could kill her and wipe her on my sleeve," Tasha said.

I agreed with Tasha, I had dreams about killing her. She was just I don't know it was this thing about her that made me wish that I never had to be around her.

I am sure she feels the same way.

I looked around and noticed that Zane, who was actually the quiet type, seemed to be worried about something. He was biting his lower lip in that way that made him look like that most adorable kid I remembered first meeting. I gave him a look to ask what was up but he shook his head at me. I knew he would tell me later, he always did.

She whined at him until he did.

I yawned and told them that I was going to sleep, I was dead tired and we had classes tomorrow, I liked to assume that I was intelligent it wasn't that I was conceited except that I was but it was the one of the few things that I was really proud of and so I liked to keep up with my grades.

As soon as I got up to my dorm I made sure that the house-elves had packed everything the riding-crop, the sparkly pony-magazines, How To Be Evil for Dummies away and as soon as I went through my usual nightly routine I slid into the featured bed. The instant my head hit the pillow I fell into a dream-less sleep.

The next day I woke up to Natasha making her bed. She was an early riser and usually woke up Scar and me. Then after we were all ready, we would wake up the boys, if Zane hadn't already. Tasha smiled at me when she noticed I was awake but didn't say anything because Scar, who I hadn't noticed, was slumped over her bed. She must have been up early because she was dressed to go in her uniform. But Scarlet was scarier then the devil in the morning.

Which one? There are countless of them.

She needed coffee to function and was pure evil without it. I knew from past experience to be quiet if I wanted peace.

"Are the boys awake?" I whispered.

"Yeah, I went over there to check and Zane had woken them up two hours ago," She whispered back.
After I got ready and Scar managed to get up we went downstairs where the boys were waiting for us. They all looked alright; in fact all of us looked pretty damn good except for Scar who even though she was dressed well in her robes her face looked, well to be blunt, dead. Her facial expression was that of someone you would find at a funeral and not a person attending but the dead one.

That could have been a good joke.

It was hilarious that a girl who was at times was very animated could be so emotionless. It was also menacing, I would rather attack Voldemort then have to have Scar mad at me because when she was this was how she acted when she was.

Ruthless killer or moping schoolgirl. Tough choice.

We got downstairs to the where breakfast was laid out and that was when we got our classes distributed among us. I gasped when I saw that my first class this morning would be Inventive Creativity. I had the first real dare planned out and it was, to say the least, amazing in its stupidity. It was hilarious too.

"Why do you have an evil gleam in your eye?" Draco asked.

"I forgot to take out those new contacts before bed last night."

I quietly told him what I had in mind and he gave away to sinister laughter that got us stares from the other three house luckily Slytherin was used to our strange behavior.

And they ignored your existence quite easily

Scar, who was feeling much better thanks to the coffee, at the cue of Zane stood up and shouted to one Gryffindor in particular, "Hey, Harry, baby, I missed you last night. My bed didn't seem right without you."

"But I got Tasha to make up for that, so bugger off."

Tasha fell into a fit of hilarity, where as Draco raised an eyebrow and asked, "Feeling better, aren't we?"

"Much." Scar answered with a smirk.

"Hey you guys, I think we all have Inventive Creativity together, right? And don't we have with the Golden Trio?" Zane asked the table.

Short-term memory-loss due to sleep? Interesting.

We all nodded.

"Then, Ms. Cobra I have something I want you to do." He raised his voice, "As you and Potter are sleeping together," he lowered it, but the people around us heard and started openmouthed, they all looked like a bunch of baboons I knew that by lunch everyone in the school would be talking about the supposed couple, "Go over to him kiss him flat on the mouth, grab his hand and skip down to the classroom together. And I mean skip."

"Real children do not go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs." That would explain them.

All of us laughed while Scar looked revolted and interested at the same time.

"Oh Pierce, you thought we forgot you, didn't you?" Tasha asked.

Pierce gave us a look and said, "I'm not kissing Granger."

"We wouldn't put you through that." Zane said. "You are going to stand up in front of the whole school tonight and recite poetry about her instead."

"Really, really, bad poetry." Tasha added.

I peeked. It is really bad. *grins*

"This is why you were up so early, wasn't it?" I asked them. The two nodded and grinned. I laughed as I thought about the dares this year. Draco and I exchanged looks as we both thought about what Scar would be doing next week.

"I better get this over with and by-the-way, there's no way in hell I'm Frenching him yet." She added as an afterthought.

"I will turn him into a Russian."

Scar walked over to where Potter and the rest of them were, bent over winked at us and kissed Potter, just as we had said, flat on the mouth. Potter blushed a shade that was well scarlet, where as Weasly looked jealous and Granger looked like she was going to throw a tantrum. She grabbed his hand and started to skip out the door while Potter was stumbling trying to comprehend what was going on.

We all laughed like crazy when Zane turned to me and said…"My breath smells like catfood."

More next time. Stay tuned.