bookish_dragon: Castle has the best smug-face (Default)
Dear Jaden.

Where the everlasting fuck did you come from? I never meant for Cyna to have a brother. Sure, I needed a reason to have her come back to her home-town, but an estranged sibling was not what I'd had in mind.

I can't tell you how much you may have scuppered what plot I had come up with before you showed up.

Exasperatedly, Bookish Dragon
bookish_dragon: Booklovers never go to bed alone (Reading second best)
Dear Meghan,

So you're ace. No, nothing wrong with that. It's just that..., did you really have to have the 'Defining the relationship'-talk with Hava while you were still being hunted by the bad guys? Time and a place, people.

Love, your author
bookish_dragon: (Universe writing)
Dear Hava and Meghan,

At least now you're doing something, but do either of you know what you're doing? No? That's what I thought. You're both supposed to be professionals, right? is there something in the water that made you act this way? Given how Meghan is behaving at the moment, that might be the case yet. Hmn, I think I can work with that.

Love, your author

P.S. See, Priesty, I told you I would name you. Be glad.

*

Dear Big Bad,

Do something. Anything. All you've done so far is sit around and gaze at the ceiling while contemplating your amazingness. That's not going to get things done.

Love, your exasperated author
bookish_dragon: (Writing)
Dear Hava and Priesty,

Why the hell are you suddenly talking about quitting your jobs? This is not what I had planned at all! You're not supposed to quit until the end of the story.

Yours in exasperation, the author

P.S. Yes, Priesty, I will come up with a proper name for you. Eventually.
bookish_dragon: Castle has the best smug-face (Default)
Dear Concy, Michael, and Ameena,

Please have more story than 'trying to navigate a polyamorous relationship'. I cannot spend 50K on that, I'll go crazy! (Well, crazier.)

I know the last time I wrote about you it didn't end well either, but that wasn't a good plot either. So give me something better.

Yours,

Yattara
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dear Elsie,

I know you are angry at Kate. She was acting spineless and like a wimp. Still, you need to help her, or else the plot'll just fall apart. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

The author.
Read more... )
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Please behave the way we agreed on when we set out on this. I know, I know, I have been slacking badly, but I'm trying to get back into it. So for the love of little green apples, don't change roles halfway through!

Fiend, why did you change who you were masquerading as?
Same goes for Ameena. Make up your mind, woman. Angel. Whatever.

At least the lesbian-angle sems to have survived. But I foresee some massive rewriting later on.

Exasperated, the author.
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dear Muse,

No, I am not doing two NaNo’s at once. Where did you get the idea from? Why last year’s (failed) NaNo? And why are you suggesting it three days before the start?

The author, slightly disgruntled.

*

Dear author,

It’ll be fun! The guys miss you. And since you’re stuck on the outline for this year’s attempt, I thought you might like the diversion.

Sweet smiles,

Your Muse.

*

Dear Muse,

The only time Max would miss someone is when he’s drunk and his aim’s off. Besides, you’re the Muse. Help me with the damned plot! Or I’ll have to go find another Muse…

Warningly,

the author.

*

Dear author,

Another Muse? My, aren’t we getting important these days? The rest are all booked for the coming month, as you well know. You’re stuck with me.

Amused,

Your Muse.
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dearest dear antagonist,

For a potential killer and all-around fiend, along with denizen of Hell with a summer house near the Ninth Circle, you have been surprisingly helpful lately in getting the details about you clear.

Should I worry? I am not accustomed to devils being this helpful without seemingly wanting anything in return.

The author

*
Dear author,

You are very welcome. No need to worry about anything. Just make sure I get what I want. If I don't, then it'll be time to worry.

The antagonist.

P.S My summer house is in Dis.

*

Dearest November 1st,

Be here already before I start breaking the rules and write.

Frustratedly yours (You know you own my soul already), Yattara
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dearest antagonist,

Please tell me something about yourself. More than 'I want that girl'. Give me something to work with here.

The author.

*

Dear Michael,

Grow a spine.

The author.

*

Dear me,

Why do I keep writing about people with no spine?

Yourself.

*

Dear author,

Do you get a warm glow of sadistic glee when planning how to torture me?

Concerta.

*

Dear Concerta,

However did you guess?

*angelic smile* The author.
bookish_dragon: (Universe writing)
Oh Feänor,

Are we going to do the same as last year? Because if we are, I am really not going to care how big your sword is, or how angry you can get. Either you cooperate with me on this AU, or I will find another plot. Emo-girl with her arranged marriage has also woken up, and she can get stroppy as well.

Yes, I know I am a mere human, and thus beneath you. I wonder if you ever behaved to professor Tolkien this way.

Impatiently,

the authrix.

P.S. Kill Gimli and I kill you. Messily.
bookish_dragon: (Universe writing)
Fëanor,

Why, now that I have given up your story in favour of something that is productive for NaNo, are you suddenly trying to feed me plot-tidbits for your AU? Bit late, aren't we?

The authrix, who's not scared of elves wielding big swords
bookish_dragon: (Universe writing)
Honourable Fëanor,

If you want me to write this AU in which you might possibly regain the Silmarils...Could you do me a favour and work with me?

Otherwise I regret to inform you that this plot will have to be scrapped for something that I *can* work with.

Yours faithfully,

Yattara

Open Letter

Aug. 3rd, 2007 03:31 pm
bookish_dragon: (Universe writing)
Honourable Fëanor, sir,

Would you be so kind as to grace me with an explanation on why the Valar let you out of the Blessed Land? I hope this request doesn't inconvenience you.

Much thanks in advance,

Your humble servant
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
You, wench with that pen in your hand,

Why did you make me out to be this stupid? I am not. Tell them I am not stupid. I am only trying to make a living, you know. Tell them I am not stupid. I want you to tell them I am not stupid. Or hitting on anything in a skirt.

...Hey, you are looking fine. What do you say, sweetheart?

The bandit with no name.

---

Bandit,

I...I have no words.

Oh, call me wench and/or hit on me again and I will disembowel you. With a spoon.

Never yours, the authrix
bookish_dragon: (Writing)
Dear Emmar,

You were only supposed to be a bit-character. How did you manage to jump to being Olgyu's love-interest? Stop hogging the spotlight, I do not want 5 MC's. I am having enough trouble with 4

And dear, one night sex together does not mean eternal love. Please, do not delude yourself in this way.

In sincere bewilderment and sympathy,

your authrix

*

Dear Olgyu,

Stop sleeping around. See what you are doing to others.

No love,

your authrix

*

To all the main characters,

Please, get a move on. I would like to see you out of that monastery before I reach 50K.

Weeping,

the authrix
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
So-called authrix,

I am the leader of this ragtag bunch. Why am I not getting more screentime? Instead you let Olgyu's latest floozy team up with us.

Frustratedly,

Marnak.

Dear Marnak,

See that axe Olgyu's carrying? Yeah, I do not want to run into that either. And a word of advice, do not call Emmar a 'floozy'. I have a feeling she could get very nasty when angry, and remember, she knows her herbs.

Your authrix.
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dear Rachik,

Dear, you were scrapped from this story several plot-changes ago. So stop threatening to show up in a later chapter to try and break up the budding friendship/romance between Ameena and Bjernu.

I will kill you if you do.

No love until you learn your place,

Yattara
bookish_dragon: (NaNo 2008 icon)
Dear Ameena,

Please grow a spine before I forcibly implant one in your back. You are awesome otherwise, but your constant apologising is getting on my nerves.

Love, your suffering authrix.

Dear rest of my MC's (apart from Olgyu, who rocks muchly in this respect),

Please stop validating Ameena's sorries. It will not help her to grow out of it.

Love, the authrix planning something awful to make everybody shut up and work together.
bookish_dragon: Castle has the best smug-face (Default)
Dear fantwunts,

Nudists. At Hogwarts. A big old honking castle, full of updrafts. In Scotland. Are you out of your freaking little minds? Do you hate your characters so much that you want them to die of pneumonia? Also: Hogwarts? British boarding school, meaning it has a strict dresscode. No, getting yourself adopted by one of the teachers does not mean you get to circumvent this code. Stop trying to get that professor nekkid too.

I've nothing against nudists, but there's a time and a place for everything, and Hogwarts is neither. And can the hypocrisy. Don't have Hermione tut disapprovingly at the ten-year-old who's dressing like a cheap hooker, but praise the same tendency in the twelve-year-old. Given that she's adopted both of them, go stick your head in a pig.

Furthermore fantwunt 2, cut it out with the gift-talk. Girls these days are not just valuable because they're virgins. And for the love of Merlin, Nimue and all Four Founders, stop having the teenaged kids express such an interest in their parents' lovelife! It's quite sickening. So's the sex, by the way.

No love, since you don't know what it is

[personal profile] bookish_dragon

Crossposted to [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants

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